Ink-Stained Scribe

The One in Which I Drop Fake Genitalia (and End Up Editing an Anthology)

"Draw me like one of your French girls!"

"Draw me like one of your French girls!"

As I mentioned in my January update, I've gone back to school for Echocardiography.

Woo, education! Woo, eventually not starving! Woo, learning how to wipe butts that aren't my own!

Let me explain that last one. I'm currently in the final week of my clinical prerequisites to qualify for the program, which included a Nursing Assistant lab where I practiced things like "assisting patients in ambulation" and "bowel training" and "attaching a condom catheter".

While the class practiced skills like foot-care, feeding, and bed-baths on each other, the level of intimacy required for certain skills exceeds most people's comfort threshold, hence the hottie in the upper left corner. That's my man(nequin). Trust me. He's even creepier up close. He's also missing his other arm, which is totally not my fault.

Anyway, these mannequins have switchable nether regions. That makes sense, right? One mannequin, two nether regions, endless teaching possibilities. Unfortunately, these mannequins were old, and had a couple of literal screws loose. So, I was carrying one with a partner when my mannequin underwent a shift of identity and forcibly ejected his(hir?) plastic penis onto the linoleum.


I yelled it before I thought about it, earning a few confused stares. I proceeded to giggle by myself for the next five minutes, because no one else found it funny.

Which is fine, because I thought it was hilarious. Then again, I still think farts are funny.

At least mom laughed. Thanks, mom.


Besides satisfying a prerequisite for my Echocardiography program and providing me with blog fodder (blodder?), the experience of this Nurse Aide class sparked an idea that has gone way beyond what I intended.

We were going over the effects of aging on the body and I just sort of wondered: what happens to aging superheroes? What sort of retirement/assisted-living/nursing home would be able to accommodate people with powers? Who would work there? Who gets to tell Wolverine he's on a puree diet?

Thinking it just a funny thought, I posted on facebook: Anthology about a nursing home for aging superheroes. Who's with me!?

I was, quite seriously, not prepared for the reaction.

Remember that time I became an assistant editor at IGMS? I'm still doing that. It's given me the chance to deconstruct what makes a good story, and also given me confidence in my ability to be a part of a professional publication.

Which is good, because now I'm editing an anthology, and I've got almost thirty contributors who've already pitched stories. Good thing I've got some experience in the submissions department. Even better, I've got a bunch of extremely talented friends to draw from.

ELYSIAN SPRINGS: The Super-Skilled Nursing Home for Ageing Superheroes is an anthology that combines humor, tragedy, and superpowers. I've got twenty-something amazing pitches, a ten-page comic commissioned from Jason Strutz and Jeremy Whitley, and several iterations of cover-art from Pieter Wessels. Headliners include Tee Morris, Gail Z. Martin, Misty Massey, and Jared Axelrod.

All this, and I'm still writing and narrating. I have so much coming down the pipeline, and all of it is super exciting.