Ink-Stained Scribe

Dumped - The Starbucks Break-Up Song

WARNING: This song contains strong language (read: f-bomb)

So here's the story. My friend Skrybbi got asked to Starbucks by a long-time friend who she knew liked her, because he wanted to tell her something "in person". Well, she knew what was coming. For years, she'd made it so they were never alone together, so there were always seats between them, and so she always had obligations on either side of their activities. You see, it had been a long friendship (now it's been about eight years; I know, he's the Russian sleeper agent of relationships) and she didn't want to see it go down the tubes just because he had a crush. The following song is a true story, with only very slight artistic license...

*AN* We know, the lypsynch is a bit off. Blame it on the fact that we have an inferior video editor that didn't like to play the audio and video at the same time. Otherwise, enjoy!!

(spoken) We've been friends for a long time
so when you told me you had something to say
I knew you were going to confess your love.
And I was just trying to think of a way to let you down gently

Oooh, and then you said if this ain't going nowhere
Then you couldn't see me anymore, oh no...
And the other girls in Starbucks caught my eye and I was thinkin'
Oh, I've heard this speech before...

I just got dumped in starbucks
and I don't even want you
Dumped, how did this turn out so wrong?
Oh how could you reject something
I didn't even try to give you
DUMPED, this is my Starbucks break-up song. Oh, yeah...

Ooh, then the awkward silence falls, I shake my head
How could this be happenning to me?
I thought I was the one dealing the "It's not you it's me" form rejection
But then you said I pulled you by the string...

I just got dumped in starbucks
but I don't even like you.
Dumped, when I've pushed you away so long?
And how did I send mixed signals,
when I just tried to avoid you?
DUMPED, this is my Starbucks break-up song.

So I got into my silver car, and you knocked on the window
You said "What about a no strings kind of way..."
And if I broke your heart saying "Hell no, fuck off, you big asshole!"
Remember you're the one who dumped me over
a triple half-calf grande no foam skim milk two-pump sugar free vanilla latte! JERK.

I just got dumped in starbucks
so don't try to call up my roommate.
You know, I'm the only reason you got along.
Did you think the seats between us all
the time were coincidental?
DUMPED, you happy? Here's my break-up song.

DUMPED, this is my fucking break-up song.

DUMPED, this is my starbucks break-up song.

The best part of this? After asking if she wanted to do a no-strings attached kind of thing, he asked for a hug--A HUG--because "it might be the last time (they) see each other". Please.

PS, if you liked this song, skip on over to our (Psychopomp (me) and Narfi's) Youtube Channel and check out our other videos. Comments and subscriptions would make our day. ^______^